Episode 2- Doctor me (part I)

"IGNSTSMF" (I Got No Switch to Stop My Fantasies)

A collection of my favourite sweet Deric fantasies, written by Kikisan.

Please, do not repost it in any place without asking permission and crediting me & this forum, thank you!  This fic creates a series of fantasies were Danny and Eric will be the main actors.  Every episode described on this fic is 100% fictional and has no base on reality.  A fantasy is an imagined event such a daydream.  It’s not real and in some cases, the re-enactment of such events are ilegal and immoral at the same time so please keep in mind this and have fun.  Thanks to all of my readers

Episode 2- Doctor me (part I)

Journal from Doctor Danny Saucedo

It’s funny what brings me here to a public school in Helsingborg.  When I was 21, I graduated as a psychologist and my biggest professional dream was to work with kids in trouble to make a difference and change society.  

I was the youngest professional from my promotion and soon I got a job that demonstrate me how idealistic I was.  Reality could be really hard sometimes.  After more than two years working with kids I had to admit that I couldn’t do almost anything to change the atmosphere on schools with problematic children.

I felt I was losing my passion.  Everyday it seems that problems got worst facing drug addicted, violent, anorexic, psychopathic, insensitive teenagers.  I am sure, when I was a kid, things weren’t that bad.  Now the world is getting sicker and sadder these days.

I couldn’t tolerate this atmosphere so one day I just quit and look for another job and that was what brings me here.  Now I feel better, working as a School Counselor but still I wonder if my job really worth it.

I was actually in the middle of a specially depressing day when my phone rang.

- Hi, doctor Saucedo- my secretary said to me. - I have a kid in front of me that wants to talk to you.

- Right now? I mean, it’s almost lunchtime.  Can you ask him to come back later?

-But the boy says that is an emergency

I sighed.

- O.k. let him in.

Five minutes later I had the boy coming to my office.

- So, your name is Eric Sade?- I asked reading the report written by my secretary.

But when I raise my eyes and saw the boy for the first time, I couldn’t help myself and I open my mouth completely astonished.  He was the most gorgeous boy I have ever seen in my entire life. Everything about him was perfect: his brown eyes that look at me, trying to evaluate me, the colour of his skin, his dark brown hair I was tempted to touch, his beautiful pink lips and even a couple of freckles on his cheek completes this glorious work of art.  This Greek God incarnated on a school boy.  

He looked more than perfect that it was incredible that he was a human being and not an angel and I was sure that I looked like an idiot contemplating that young precious boy.  I try not to look directly to his eyes.  Otherwise I would never concentrate.  I was sure that I would be able to be in front of him for hours and I would never feel tired of looking at him.

- Eric Saade.  With double a.- He corrected me.

- Alright, “Eric Saade with double a”.  What brings you here?- I said with a smile just to break the ice with the boy.

However, Eric remained in silence as if he was evaluating me and my physical aspect and I must admit that this was bothering me a lot.  I hate all these teenagers with that attitude of thinking that they are better than anyone else.

- How old are you?- He finally asked me

- I’m twenty five- I admitted. But that doesn’t make me a less competent school advisor- I clarified. Now tell me Eric, how old are you?

- Fifteen and a half- he said with pride on his voice.

- And what do you want to talk about with me?- I asked being polite however, Eric replied

- Why do you have to ask the questions?

Cause I’m the psychologist and you are the problematic boy!  Now if you don’t have anything to tell me, go away and don’t make me lose my time!

That was what I wanted to say because that sexy little boy was trying to exasperate me.  However, I knew that I was the one who has the control and not the boy, so I calmed down before replying.

- No problem, then ask me whatever you want.

Eric looked surprised and I knew he just wanted to make me feel upset with that question that he obviously didn’t think that I would agree and let him ask me whatever he want.

- Are you a real psychologist?

- Yes, I am

- But you are just 25? aren’t you?- He looked at me not couldn’t believe on the idea that someone so young could be working in a school and being in theory an “authority” for him.

- I graduated when I was 21.

Eric looked impressed and interested about me.

- And why do you work with kids? Do you fail the exam to be an adult psychologist?- He suggested

I could not pretend to be serious so I laughed

- Of course not, Eric! I always dreamed about working with kids and that’s what I’m doing.

- Oh

- So now, smart boy.  I still remember that you come here for some reason.

I did not understand why, but the idea of telling me his worries, made Eric feel ashamed and maybe insecure.  He now was looking at his hands.

I must admit that I immediately think about the worst possible situation.  Maybe this nice boy that I had in front of me was in big trouble and that’s why he try to look for help.  Maybe it was drugs abuse or even worst, sexual diseases.  I didn’t want to think about this but you see all these problems everyday.

- Don’t worry for whatever you have to tell me.  I am a professional.  I can keep a secret.  And maybe I can help you to fix everything.

- No, you can’t- he said looking at me with an emotional look that makes me feel warm.

- I’m sorry- he quickly added when he noticed that he was being rude with me once again. - It’s just that... I don’t know how to begin.

- Why don’t you just shoot it instead of keep thinking about how to begin.

Eric took a deep breath

- I feel confused... I want to know if I am becoming gay- he said really fast.

Then he blushed.

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?- He asked in alarm after he saw that I stand up and was about to left the room.

I didn’t pay attention to him.  I almost run and went to the bathroom.  I wanted to scream of joy and happiness for what I have hard.

What the hell this boy is playing with me?

- Remember that you are a professional and that he is just a little boy.  Well, he is almost your age but that’s not the point.

- Oh God.  How to react?  This is probably the most complicated situation I’ve ever had as a professional but I could not fail.  I must come back to that room and face the boy.  Now.

I sighed

- Where did you go doc?

- I’m sorry Eric. Ehm.... Someone was calling me.  Now, about your problem.  Why do you say that?  I can assure you that no one “becomes gay”.  It’s like the color of your eyes, you were born with that.  It’s a part of you

I felt butterflies in my stomach when I mentioned the boy’s beautiful eyes

- I am straight!- He protested

I smiled to him and put my hand on his shoulder

- Then you shouldn’t feel worried.  If you feel that you are straight, then that’s what you are.  That’s your personal truth.  Don’t let anyone let you down.

Eric took my hand out off him.  He felt uncomfortable with my touch.

- I have a girlfriend!

- Good for you, boy- I replied with sarcasm

- But...

- But what, Eric?

- But suddenly, I’ve felt different.  I have developed some kind of attraction to a boy and it scares me as hell.

- Have you tried to forget about it?- I suggested.

- Yes, I am not proud of my feelings!  Actually I am feeling sick about myself and who I am.

I sighed.

- Eric Saade, do you really think that being labeled as “gay” or “straight” is that important to you? Well, I tell you no, it’s not.  Just do what your heart dictates you and you’ll be fine and happy.

- But it’s not right...- He replied with a sad expression on his face

- Who tells you that?  There’s nothing wrong about your feelings!  There’s nothing wrong about love!

I stop yelling to the boy when I noticed that I was actually talking too loud.

I looked at him still thinking about what I was supposed to do.  I suddenly had a good idea, something that came from my heart but if I wasn’t right it could be awful.

- Let’s make a proof- I suggested

Eric opened his eyes.  He certainly wasn’t prepared for my suggestion.

I put my hand on his hands and I softly touch them.  I couldn’t believe it, they feel really soft, like the touch of an angel.  I almost moan at this feeling.  Eric on his part look really insecure and afraid like he was feeling there was something wrong in my actions.

Then I get closer to him.  I crossed Eric’s arms with my hands and I slide them one on his chest and the other one on his shoulder.  And all this time I can’t stop looking at his beautiful brown eyes.

I know it seems weird, but for me it was the most beautiful experience I have ever had in my entire life.  What an experience, it was almost a spiritual feeling!

The boy however was not in the same mood.  I felt his trembling warm body next to me for just five seconds when he step back completely terrified.  The panic was controlling him, probably thinking that I wanted to rape him and I also started feeling afraid.

Oh Gosh, I don’t want to end things like this.  I swear, I didn’t want to do anything wrong with the poor boy!

 

- How is your relationship with your dad?- I asked Eric not letting him react.

He didn’t answer.  He looked nervous and hesitating.  I think he was insecure and didn’t know if he could trust in me or not.

- It’s not that difficult.  Just tell me, do you have a good relationship with your father or is it just an ok relationship?

- Well it’s just... normal- the boy finally answer.

For some reason he looked offended when I asked him this question.

- Do you do things together like going to the park, play or watch a film or maybe go to the movies?

- We go together to the stadium to watch the football matches

- And do you have fun with him?

- Yes!- He said.

I knew what the boy was thinking: “what a stupid question”

- That’s interesting- I added.

- Why?

- The result of my “exercise”, show me something different- I meditated out loud.

- Eric, I am going to ask you a question and I hope you will be completely honest with me.  You got it?

- I guess- He answer still hesitating

- When was the last time you gave a hug to your father?

He wasn’t expecting that.

- I.... I don’t know.  I don’t remember.

- That’s bad.  I found something was wrong when you feel scared just because I give you a hug.  You felt that I was invading your private space- I explained and everything started looking rational.- That’s ok.  Every single person have a private space and it’s normal to feel attacked when someone is trying to enter there without your permission.

- The problem here is that people have always though that boys should repress their emotions.

Eric was looking at the floor.  It was evident that he felt uncomfortable.

- What does it mean?- he demanded me.

- This just means that you are feeling confused because you have repressed your emotions and that you need to be more affective with your father.  This repressed desire for male affection has affected you making you look for other boys.

- So that means that I am not a gay boy?- He asked feeling relieved

- Is that really important?- I asked

- Yes!

I sighed

- This is just a theory Eric, but I feel that if you work on your relationship with your father and become more affective, you’ll stop feeling uncomfortable with yourself and the unpleasant feelings about the boys around you will also disappear.

Eric Saade now looked happy.  That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

- That’s what I am going to do then doc- He said with a smile on his face.  He was showing pure satisfaction making him look more like a little pretty boy.

We shook hands

- I hope we’ll see each other someday- I suggested

- That would be good.

He turned around but suddenly he stopped his way to the door and came again to me.

- Ehm, doctor Danny.  I forgot to ask you a question- He said not sure about what he was about to ask

- Yes?

- Are you gay?

I felt cold.  I was upset, I mean, how dare the boy to ask me a personal question like this.  What a reckless boy!  Was he kidding me?

Eric blushed.

- I’m sorry.  I’m just being stupid - he said and I noticed that he honestly regret that silly question.

I did not answer him.  I just keep looking at him, evaluating him, maybe burning him with my eyes.  Eric couldn’t look at me directly to my eyes.

- Yes, I am.  But that is a part of my privacy and it doesn’t make me a less competent professional.

- I know, it’s just that...

It was evident that Eric feel uncomfortable and he’d prefer not to ask me this question.

- Does it bother to you?

- No! Not at all- He insisted.

- I’m sorry- He said once again

We looked at each other for a while

- Don’t worry boy. It doesn’t matter.

I sighed.

- Are you going to follow my advice?

- Sure.  I’ll see you then- He replied with a beautiful smile on his face.

That was all I knew about Eric.  For a while.  

 

 

   

 

                 

Episode 1- Santa Danny is Coming to Town

"IGNSTSMF" (I Got No Switch to Stop My Fantasies)

A collection of my favourite sweet Deric fantasies, written by Kikisan.

Please, do not repost it in any place without asking permission and crediting me & this blog, thank you!  This fic creates a series of fantasies were Danny and Eric will be the main actors.  Every episode described on this fic is 100% fictional and has no base on reality.  A fantasy is an imagined event such a daydream.  It’s not real and in some cases, the re-enactment of such events are ilegal and immoral at the same time so please keep in mind this and have fun.  Thanks to all of my readers

Episode 1- Santa Danny is Coming to Town

It was Christmas in Helsinborg, 2003.  The city was sleeping in silence after another day of celebration.  Happiness was everywhere and the lights of the city looked even more beautiful than before.  The best day of the year for the little kids who were waiting for the gifts given by their parents was not as happy as it used to be however. Not at least for a little 13 years old boy who could not sleep.

His name was Eric Saade.  He used to be a lovely boy but he didn’t feel well since a couple of days when he meet... her, making him sleepless.  Everybody who knows Eric could tell that he was a good boy, a funny one.  He was not the best at school but he did it very well and he was very emotional and supportive to his parents and his 8 brothers and sisters so he was not actually the kind of guy that is always in trouble.

He loved to do the normal things boys do at that age.  You know, go to school, play video games, imagine being Zlatan and discussing with his friends about what was the best pokemon chapter or what team would win the Eurocup this year.  He was actually a very funny boy who was very easy to love.

You just needed to know him to start wanting to be his best friend, excepting maybe some boys who felt jealous after him for being that popular.  Nevertheless, that was over and thought people haven’t noticed it yet, Eric was feeling depressed and he didn’t want to talk about it, not even with his friends or parents.

It was very difficult.  He actually couldn’t explain how a girl could make him feel so sad and happy at the same time.

I would feel stupid if I talk about this with my father - Eric thought even if he knew that he was having the worst Christmas of his life because of that girl he just could not get out of his head or at least try to ignore.

Eric wake up from his bed.  It was almost midnight and he realized that he could not pretend to sleep anymore.  He has tried to do it but the image of the girl of his dreams made him feel sick.

The boy went directly to the mirror and looked at himself.  He looked really tired, he had circles on his eyes and a sad expression that was not normal on him.

- What’s happening to me?- Eric asked to himself

Then he closed his eyes and sighed.  

Eric had a lot of sad questions on his head and there was not a single sign of hope at any of them at all.

Why doesn’t she pay me attention attention? Did she even notice how much I love her?  Will I ever be loved by someone different from my parents?

Maybe is because I’m ugly?    

Eric felt terribly sad and with no hope after asking himself that last question.

Maybe I am.

The second thing he noticed was that he was terribly hungry.  Oh yes, it was actually because he haven’t eaten properly last night.  He didn’t felt well.

Eric went downstairs to take something to eat and what he saw when he was on his way to the dining room made him forget all his worries about that girl from his high school that seems not to pay attention to him.

A guy, dressed as Santa was in the living room.  Eric was old enough to know that Santa was not real so the next thing he though after seeing that strange man was

- Oh my Gosh, it might be a thief or a dangerous drug man doing something inside of my house.  I have to run as soon as I can and call the police and also wake up my parents.

Unfortunately the man who was dressed as Santa has already seen him and was just a few meters from him.

He was a blond, dark blue eyes boy who was probably 7 or 8 years older than Eric and by the way that Santa dress suits to him, it was obvious that he went to the gym regularly.  

Eric Saade considered himself a straight boy and he was enough mature to know when a boy was looking sexy without having any doubts about his sexual orientation and that was the case.  Let’s face it, the boy look like a super model.

- Who are you?- Eric asked pretending to be more brave than how he really was feeling.

- I am the Ghost of the Christmas yet to come boooo- The blond man reply to Eric and then he laughed

Alright, now this is really crazy.  The guy is completely nuts, or my parents are playing me a sick joke.  But there’s also the possibility that he would be a sick man, a robber or even a raper.  

- Don’t move!- Eric shouted. - I’m going to call the police.

But the Santa guy seems to ignore little Eric.  When Eric turned back and went to the door he noticed that it was locked and the worst part was that the blond Santa looked satisfied.

WTF

- How could you do that?- He demanded

- I told you that I’m the Ghost of the Christmas yet to come.  I’m magic!

Eric sighed not knowing what to do.  Then he got it.

- Get away now man or... I have a gun on my pocket and I am not afraid to use it

The blond Santa open his eye completely

- Wow!- He just said before laughing really hard. - Should I be afraid of a kid wearing a pokemon pyjama?

That makes Eric feel really angry and humiliated.  This strange guy not only entered to his house but now he was making fun of him

- Come on Eric, relax!

- How do you know my name?

It was official, this blond guy was really dangerous.  He might be following him from days to know who he was.

- I come from the future.  Now relax

With a snap on his fingers, a bottle of wine appeared making Eric feel astonished

- Damn, you are really Santa!

- Please call me Danny- The blond Santa winked at Eric. - Do you want a glass?

- I don’t drink... my parents

Eric felt stupid while having this conversation.  There were just two options and none of them seems to be right to the poor boy: one, he suddenly went crazy without even noticing and now he was having hallucinations or second, it was real and Danny was his ghosts of the future Christmas which means that...

Danny looked at Eric with a smile of superiority on his face imagining what happened on the boy’s face

- Eric I have a message to give to you- he said before putting one of his hands on Eric’s cheek.

Eric trembled a little bit but he let the sexy Santa touch his face.

- A message for me?

- Yes! It’s all about your future but also about your present boy and I have something to give to you as my Christmas present.

Eric remained in silence.  He definitely didn’t know what to think or to do.

- You have been worried all these days because you have never felt so deeply in love of a girl.

That was so truth. Was Danny reading his mind?  Because in the past days he has lost his sleep and his happiness because of that girl he wished to have but that was always so far from him.  It seems so impossible that one day he would be able...

- I knew that! Well the answer for your problem is simple: don’t worry!  There are so many fish in the sea and well Eric, I’m sorry to tell you but she won’t be the one for you.

- Is that all?  That’s so stupid!  She is the only girl I want- Eric shouted.  Then he felt sorry after realizing that he might wake up his parents if he speak at that tone.

However, Danny didn’t feel angry at all.  In fact he was playing with his Santa hat while he was listening to the angry little boy.

- Look Eric, you are just 13 years old.  You are going to grow up, meet so many different girls and you will be famous.

- But now I am not interested about  anything else but her and she just don’t care.  She acts as if she thinks that I did not even exist.

Eric stopped.  For a moment he though that he was about to cry.

Santa Danny looked at Eric as if he was thinking that the boy was being a little bit silly to understand something really simple

- I’m going to show you something- He said before making appear a long list written on a paper

It was a a huge paper list that reach to the floor and it continues.  A five meters paper list at least.

Eric raised an eyebrow.  It was the biggest list he has ever seen.

- What is this suppose to be? Your gifts list?

- No- Danny answered. -It’s the list of persons that have a crush on you right now.  You are good considering that you are just 13.  

- Let’s see: 40 girls at your school and 15 boys without including a teacher, two of your football team mates and your football coach.

Danny finished pretending to be exhausted.

- By the way, be careful with the coach, he really wants you.

Eric agree a little bit afraid after this revelation.

- And here we have that girl.  It’s actually one of your latest goals! Lucky you Romeo- Danny joked and then he tried to slap Eric’s butt but he was too fast to know what were his intentions.

Eric took a deep breathe before asking

- Then why she just don’t tell me...?

- Come on Eric, I know you are a smart boy.  She is shy and she thinks you are too good for her.  So forget about her proposing to you.  This will never happen.

- Oh and I forgot, there are more people on the list: 200 persons from your town are already in love of you and counting.  They just see you walking on the street and they think: “Oh my God, what a pretty little boy” when they are watching you.  

- And finally, actually a quarter part of the world population will fall in love of you by the end of 2012.  Satisfied?

Eric didn’t know what to say.  He didn’t have reasons to complain and still he was not feeling happy.

- So, she finds me attractive?

Danny sighed

- Manboy, I thought you were smarter! The girl literary touch herself, thinking about you.

- How do you call me?

- Gosh, I shouldn’t say that- Danny admitted feeling ashamed after accidentally changing the past

- That was a cool name!

For the very first time in the night the boy and Santa Danny looked at each other and they both smile.  Eric didn’t know exactly how this friendship complicity feeling came to his mind but something in the blond guy makes him feel comfortable.

- So, is that all?

- I guess so Eric.  Take care and probably we will see you... later.

- You say that you come from the future.

- Yes- Danny admitted.

- Then you know what is going to happen when I get older and everything

- I guess so- Danny say with hesitation.

- I need to know something to recover my sleep- Eric replied

- I am sorry Eric, but there are some rules we have to accomplish in the Santa club.  I can’t be telling anyone what is going to happen or...

- Please, do it for me- Eric beg

Danny bite his lower lip as he sees that thirteen years old boy with a gorgeous baby face just looking at him with his precious puppy eyes.  Specially those beautiful eyes.      

-Ok, Eric.  Just shot

- Will I ever find true love?

- Yes you will.

Eric Saade sighed relieved and then he smiled for the first time in the whole night, making Danny’s heart beat really fast after watching the most beautiful smile a boy has ever offered to him.  

- And how is she?- Eric curiously asked

- I never tell you that it was a “she”- Danny replied with a smile

Eric was shocked.  It takes a few seconds for him to assimilate the information

- Whaaat? Are you telling me that I... This is the worst Christmas ever!  that is so... disgusting.

But Danny keep looking at him with the same expression upon his face.

- You must be lying man!

- I am sorry but it is what it is.

- I guess that... - Eric started saying with hesitation on his voice.- Maybe if that’s what I really want.

But then he refuse it.

- No, it can’t be like that.  I’m not a gay boy.

Danny put an arm on Eric’s shoulder

- Calm down, my friend.  When things happen you’ll understand.

- Thanks bro- Eric says showing him an innocent smile and then he hugs Danny without even telling him what he was about to do.

- Aww

Santa Danny was now the one that didn’t know what to do.  The boy has definitely took his breath away.  

- Eric, I have a special Christmas present to give you- Danny whispered to Eric’s ears.- But you have to close your eyes and let the magic happen.

Eric did it and the next thing he feels was his lips being touched by Danny’s ones.  United into the most beautiful, warm, sweet and loving touch he has ever received.  This was actually his first kiss and it was even more beautiful than the way he imagined it would be.

When Eric opened his eyes once again, Santa Danny was still looking at him with love and passion in his eyes and suddenly he just disappeared in the same way he went to visit him, back to a place in a future far away from him and his heart.

Before going to sleep Eric feel a different ache coming from his heart.  That was because he understood that this boy, that “Santa” was in fact the love of his life.  That kiss could not lie to him.

Years passed and Eric became a manboy.  As he grew up he still thought sometimes about that magic night when he was just 13 but now he wasn’t sure if what he saw was real or it was just a dream.  And when he saw the real Danny he was shocked.  It was like seeing a ghost or having a déjà vu.

- That’s the boy of my dreams- he thought.

And it was not until Melodifestivalen 2011, when the two boys, Eric and Danny, united their bodies and souls into one of the hottest kisses the public has ever seen, that Eric Saade understood that his Christmas gift has become a reality.

    

I Got No Switch to Stop My Fantasies

A New Fic is coming