Episode 2- Doctor me (part I)

"IGNSTSMF" (I Got No Switch to Stop My Fantasies)

A collection of my favourite sweet Deric fantasies, written by Kikisan.

Please, do not repost it in any place without asking permission and crediting me & this forum, thank you!  This fic creates a series of fantasies were Danny and Eric will be the main actors.  Every episode described on this fic is 100% fictional and has no base on reality.  A fantasy is an imagined event such a daydream.  It’s not real and in some cases, the re-enactment of such events are ilegal and immoral at the same time so please keep in mind this and have fun.  Thanks to all of my readers

Episode 2- Doctor me (part I)

Journal from Doctor Danny Saucedo

It’s funny what brings me here to a public school in Helsingborg.  When I was 21, I graduated as a psychologist and my biggest professional dream was to work with kids in trouble to make a difference and change society.  

I was the youngest professional from my promotion and soon I got a job that demonstrate me how idealistic I was.  Reality could be really hard sometimes.  After more than two years working with kids I had to admit that I couldn’t do almost anything to change the atmosphere on schools with problematic children.

I felt I was losing my passion.  Everyday it seems that problems got worst facing drug addicted, violent, anorexic, psychopathic, insensitive teenagers.  I am sure, when I was a kid, things weren’t that bad.  Now the world is getting sicker and sadder these days.

I couldn’t tolerate this atmosphere so one day I just quit and look for another job and that was what brings me here.  Now I feel better, working as a School Counselor but still I wonder if my job really worth it.

I was actually in the middle of a specially depressing day when my phone rang.

- Hi, doctor Saucedo- my secretary said to me. - I have a kid in front of me that wants to talk to you.

- Right now? I mean, it’s almost lunchtime.  Can you ask him to come back later?

-But the boy says that is an emergency

I sighed.

- O.k. let him in.

Five minutes later I had the boy coming to my office.

- So, your name is Eric Sade?- I asked reading the report written by my secretary.

But when I raise my eyes and saw the boy for the first time, I couldn’t help myself and I open my mouth completely astonished.  He was the most gorgeous boy I have ever seen in my entire life. Everything about him was perfect: his brown eyes that look at me, trying to evaluate me, the colour of his skin, his dark brown hair I was tempted to touch, his beautiful pink lips and even a couple of freckles on his cheek completes this glorious work of art.  This Greek God incarnated on a school boy.  

He looked more than perfect that it was incredible that he was a human being and not an angel and I was sure that I looked like an idiot contemplating that young precious boy.  I try not to look directly to his eyes.  Otherwise I would never concentrate.  I was sure that I would be able to be in front of him for hours and I would never feel tired of looking at him.

- Eric Saade.  With double a.- He corrected me.

- Alright, “Eric Saade with double a”.  What brings you here?- I said with a smile just to break the ice with the boy.

However, Eric remained in silence as if he was evaluating me and my physical aspect and I must admit that this was bothering me a lot.  I hate all these teenagers with that attitude of thinking that they are better than anyone else.

- How old are you?- He finally asked me

- I’m twenty five- I admitted. But that doesn’t make me a less competent school advisor- I clarified. Now tell me Eric, how old are you?

- Fifteen and a half- he said with pride on his voice.

- And what do you want to talk about with me?- I asked being polite however, Eric replied

- Why do you have to ask the questions?

Cause I’m the psychologist and you are the problematic boy!  Now if you don’t have anything to tell me, go away and don’t make me lose my time!

That was what I wanted to say because that sexy little boy was trying to exasperate me.  However, I knew that I was the one who has the control and not the boy, so I calmed down before replying.

- No problem, then ask me whatever you want.

Eric looked surprised and I knew he just wanted to make me feel upset with that question that he obviously didn’t think that I would agree and let him ask me whatever he want.

- Are you a real psychologist?

- Yes, I am

- But you are just 25? aren’t you?- He looked at me not couldn’t believe on the idea that someone so young could be working in a school and being in theory an “authority” for him.

- I graduated when I was 21.

Eric looked impressed and interested about me.

- And why do you work with kids? Do you fail the exam to be an adult psychologist?- He suggested

I could not pretend to be serious so I laughed

- Of course not, Eric! I always dreamed about working with kids and that’s what I’m doing.

- Oh

- So now, smart boy.  I still remember that you come here for some reason.

I did not understand why, but the idea of telling me his worries, made Eric feel ashamed and maybe insecure.  He now was looking at his hands.

I must admit that I immediately think about the worst possible situation.  Maybe this nice boy that I had in front of me was in big trouble and that’s why he try to look for help.  Maybe it was drugs abuse or even worst, sexual diseases.  I didn’t want to think about this but you see all these problems everyday.

- Don’t worry for whatever you have to tell me.  I am a professional.  I can keep a secret.  And maybe I can help you to fix everything.

- No, you can’t- he said looking at me with an emotional look that makes me feel warm.

- I’m sorry- he quickly added when he noticed that he was being rude with me once again. - It’s just that... I don’t know how to begin.

- Why don’t you just shoot it instead of keep thinking about how to begin.

Eric took a deep breath

- I feel confused... I want to know if I am becoming gay- he said really fast.

Then he blushed.

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?- He asked in alarm after he saw that I stand up and was about to left the room.

I didn’t pay attention to him.  I almost run and went to the bathroom.  I wanted to scream of joy and happiness for what I have hard.

What the hell this boy is playing with me?

- Remember that you are a professional and that he is just a little boy.  Well, he is almost your age but that’s not the point.

- Oh God.  How to react?  This is probably the most complicated situation I’ve ever had as a professional but I could not fail.  I must come back to that room and face the boy.  Now.

I sighed

- Where did you go doc?

- I’m sorry Eric. Ehm.... Someone was calling me.  Now, about your problem.  Why do you say that?  I can assure you that no one “becomes gay”.  It’s like the color of your eyes, you were born with that.  It’s a part of you

I felt butterflies in my stomach when I mentioned the boy’s beautiful eyes

- I am straight!- He protested

I smiled to him and put my hand on his shoulder

- Then you shouldn’t feel worried.  If you feel that you are straight, then that’s what you are.  That’s your personal truth.  Don’t let anyone let you down.

Eric took my hand out off him.  He felt uncomfortable with my touch.

- I have a girlfriend!

- Good for you, boy- I replied with sarcasm

- But...

- But what, Eric?

- But suddenly, I’ve felt different.  I have developed some kind of attraction to a boy and it scares me as hell.

- Have you tried to forget about it?- I suggested.

- Yes, I am not proud of my feelings!  Actually I am feeling sick about myself and who I am.

I sighed.

- Eric Saade, do you really think that being labeled as “gay” or “straight” is that important to you? Well, I tell you no, it’s not.  Just do what your heart dictates you and you’ll be fine and happy.

- But it’s not right...- He replied with a sad expression on his face

- Who tells you that?  There’s nothing wrong about your feelings!  There’s nothing wrong about love!

I stop yelling to the boy when I noticed that I was actually talking too loud.

I looked at him still thinking about what I was supposed to do.  I suddenly had a good idea, something that came from my heart but if I wasn’t right it could be awful.

- Let’s make a proof- I suggested

Eric opened his eyes.  He certainly wasn’t prepared for my suggestion.

I put my hand on his hands and I softly touch them.  I couldn’t believe it, they feel really soft, like the touch of an angel.  I almost moan at this feeling.  Eric on his part look really insecure and afraid like he was feeling there was something wrong in my actions.

Then I get closer to him.  I crossed Eric’s arms with my hands and I slide them one on his chest and the other one on his shoulder.  And all this time I can’t stop looking at his beautiful brown eyes.

I know it seems weird, but for me it was the most beautiful experience I have ever had in my entire life.  What an experience, it was almost a spiritual feeling!

The boy however was not in the same mood.  I felt his trembling warm body next to me for just five seconds when he step back completely terrified.  The panic was controlling him, probably thinking that I wanted to rape him and I also started feeling afraid.

Oh Gosh, I don’t want to end things like this.  I swear, I didn’t want to do anything wrong with the poor boy!

 

- How is your relationship with your dad?- I asked Eric not letting him react.

He didn’t answer.  He looked nervous and hesitating.  I think he was insecure and didn’t know if he could trust in me or not.

- It’s not that difficult.  Just tell me, do you have a good relationship with your father or is it just an ok relationship?

- Well it’s just... normal- the boy finally answer.

For some reason he looked offended when I asked him this question.

- Do you do things together like going to the park, play or watch a film or maybe go to the movies?

- We go together to the stadium to watch the football matches

- And do you have fun with him?

- Yes!- He said.

I knew what the boy was thinking: “what a stupid question”

- That’s interesting- I added.

- Why?

- The result of my “exercise”, show me something different- I meditated out loud.

- Eric, I am going to ask you a question and I hope you will be completely honest with me.  You got it?

- I guess- He answer still hesitating

- When was the last time you gave a hug to your father?

He wasn’t expecting that.

- I.... I don’t know.  I don’t remember.

- That’s bad.  I found something was wrong when you feel scared just because I give you a hug.  You felt that I was invading your private space- I explained and everything started looking rational.- That’s ok.  Every single person have a private space and it’s normal to feel attacked when someone is trying to enter there without your permission.

- The problem here is that people have always though that boys should repress their emotions.

Eric was looking at the floor.  It was evident that he felt uncomfortable.

- What does it mean?- he demanded me.

- This just means that you are feeling confused because you have repressed your emotions and that you need to be more affective with your father.  This repressed desire for male affection has affected you making you look for other boys.

- So that means that I am not a gay boy?- He asked feeling relieved

- Is that really important?- I asked

- Yes!

I sighed

- This is just a theory Eric, but I feel that if you work on your relationship with your father and become more affective, you’ll stop feeling uncomfortable with yourself and the unpleasant feelings about the boys around you will also disappear.

Eric Saade now looked happy.  That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

- That’s what I am going to do then doc- He said with a smile on his face.  He was showing pure satisfaction making him look more like a little pretty boy.

We shook hands

- I hope we’ll see each other someday- I suggested

- That would be good.

He turned around but suddenly he stopped his way to the door and came again to me.

- Ehm, doctor Danny.  I forgot to ask you a question- He said not sure about what he was about to ask

- Yes?

- Are you gay?

I felt cold.  I was upset, I mean, how dare the boy to ask me a personal question like this.  What a reckless boy!  Was he kidding me?

Eric blushed.

- I’m sorry.  I’m just being stupid - he said and I noticed that he honestly regret that silly question.

I did not answer him.  I just keep looking at him, evaluating him, maybe burning him with my eyes.  Eric couldn’t look at me directly to my eyes.

- Yes, I am.  But that is a part of my privacy and it doesn’t make me a less competent professional.

- I know, it’s just that...

It was evident that Eric feel uncomfortable and he’d prefer not to ask me this question.

- Does it bother to you?

- No! Not at all- He insisted.

- I’m sorry- He said once again

We looked at each other for a while

- Don’t worry boy. It doesn’t matter.

I sighed.

- Are you going to follow my advice?

- Sure.  I’ll see you then- He replied with a beautiful smile on his face.

That was all I knew about Eric.  For a while.