Episode 11- The end of my world

"IGNSTSMF" (I Got No Switch to Stop My Fantasies)

A collection of my favourite sweet Deric fantasies, written by Kikisan.

Please, do not repost it in any place without asking permission and crediting me & this blog, thank you!  This fic creates a series of fantasies were Danny and Eric will be the main actors.  Every episode described on this fic is 100% fictional and has no base on reality.  A fantasy is an imagined event such a daydream.  It’s not real and in some cases, the re-enactment of such events are illegal and immoral at the same time so please keep in mind this and have fun.  Thanks to all of my readers

Episode 11- The end of my world

The last goodbye?

From Eric’s point of view

When I watched Melodifestivalen 2012, everything for me was like the strangest dream I have ever experienced.

I knew I was awake of course, but it felt so unreal at the same time.  I saw the love Molly and Danny performing.  I wanted to approach to them.  As if there was an important message I have to deliver to them.

But of course, everything was okay? I said to myself.  Why do I have this feeling as if something is going to happen.  Something… tragic.

It was like a strange shock.  The type of cold feeling you once get when there is something very important you need to know but you still do not remember.  And for some reason, I knew this episode was not going to be easy.

But why? When I had arranged my feelings and I was ready to give the next step.  I was decided to put everything clear in my life.  To be openly a bisexual man who loves both his girlfriend and boyfriend.  The world needed to know that I was in love of f***g Danny Saucedo and that there was nothing bad about our happiness.

The idea of my previous plans is painful to me.

The contest continue as some of the journalists had anticipated.  When it was Tooji’s turn to give Norway’s points I have to admit that I felt a little bit miserable.  But there was nothing I could do.  Finally I knew what I wanted to do.  

Loreen won the contest.  My sexy Danny came in second place and Molly came in 5th place.  But after that destiny revealed to me in the after party.

I wanted to approach Danny.  I had to dance with some of my crew members and pretended that I was having fun.  I even had to escape some journalists when I caught Danny in my eye.

He noticed I was watching him and he left.  I followed him.  He needed to know that I knew how he felt.  But then, when I entered the same room outside the party, Danny Saucedo broke my heart as nobody has done it before.  As no one will ever do it again.

• Why are you following me Eric Saade?- He asked me.  Danny tried to sound rude but I saw he was crying
• Because I love you.  And I want to say that I don’t care about the people.  I don’t even care about our careers.  If I can’t have you I will not love anyone else.  Man or woman.  You are the man of my life!
• STOP ERIC SAADE!  BUT I CARE!  I WILL NOT LET YOU DESTROY YOURSELF BECAUSE OF… ME.  I don’t worth it.
• Look Danny- I tried to touch him but he did not left me. And that hurt myself so much. - Whatever that idiot called Tooji has told you...

But then Danny’s face turned angry.  I could see his anger.

• It is not even that!  How could you be so idiot Eric Saade?  Are you so stupid to know that we cannot be in love!  Have you talked with Molly for a while during the last days?  Well I have done…
• I, yes…- I tried to talk but words did not work this way
• If you want to jump and destroy your career well do it.  But how can you be so… so… hideous to forget about Molly.  Eric, I don’t love you anymore.

I knew Danny was lying.  But it did not matter at this point.  I knew Danny.  That stupid boy pretending to be such a big man had decided that he wanted me out of my life.

•  So this is the end?
• I guess it is- He said.

I slowly left the room.  But I never looked back.

On the following days I cried for hours.  I felt devastated for weeks.  I read how Danny had “started a relationship” with my now ex-girlfriend.  But of course I knew deep in my heart that it was just a fake relationship to “protect me” and to “protect her”.  The reality was that it was more about protecting himself from the truth.

But life continued anyway.  And as it has happened to me other times, I did not die.  I just became a different person.  I was more mature.  A little bit wiser but also, I had lost an important part of me.  That Eric that opened his heart and smiled with innocence to the cameras was dead.  The one who believed in fairy tales and once saw the most beautiful blond boy and thought for a precious yet too short period that he could be the love of his life won’t come back any more.

That was the end of my world as I knew it but the start of something new.