Episode 8- The end of my world

"IGNSTSMF" (I Got No Switch to Stop My Fantasies)

A collection of my favourite sweet Deric fantasies, written by Kikisan.

Please, do not repost it in any place without asking permission and crediting me & this blog, thank you!  This fic creates a series of fantasies were Danny and Eric will be the main actors.  Every episode described on this fic is 100% fictional and has no base on reality.  A fantasy is an imagined event such a daydream.  It’s not real and in some cases, the re-enactment of such events are ilegal and immoral at the same time so please keep in mind this and have fun.  Thanks to all of my readers

Episode 8- The end of my world

Obstacle

From Tooji’s point of view

I was in front of the most gorgeous man in the whole world.

The whole world? I mean the universe... he was.

Oh my God.  I could not explain this with words.

If you have watched a picture of Eric Khaled Saade and you think he is sexy, I have to tell you that he is like one hundred times sexier when you watch him live.

I swear.  I am not exaggerating!

Touraj calm down kid- a voice in my mind that looked like my mom’s told me.

Eric was smiling at me.  Probably he was imagining that I was in shock for a different reason.

I could not say a word.  I was so astonished that for the first minute I must admit that I didn’t notice there was a boy standing in the corner of the room.  He looked impatient.

- Oh, I forgot to introduce you. -said Eric with a big smile on his face realizing that I was looking at Danny

-This is...

- Danny Saucedo- I finished his sentence.

- And this is Tooji, Danny.  He is going to represent Norway at the Eurovision Song Contest this year.

Danny just nodded.  That stupid boy on this ridiculously gay astronaut dress.  I hate him!

- Nice to meet you I say and I shake my hand even if I wished he got out of the room.

He ignored me

- Eric... Can I talk to you?

Eric looked a little bit nervous.  He got closer to Danny and whispered something on his ear.

Danny wink at him and kissed Eric on his forehead before living the room.

Eric laughed.     

When Danny was about to leave the room, he gave me a final look.

I don’t need to be a nuclear scientist to know exactly what this face means “Get away from my man now bitch!”  

Eric smiled with confidence.

- So, Tooji, do you like soda?

- What?

Eric Saade laughed

- I usually offer coffee to my guests but the coffee machine is broken so I thought.... hahaha

- Whatever

- Now, tell me a little bit more about you.

The butterflies started again.

Apparently Eric didn’t notice anything strange and he was enjoying with my presence as I talked a little bit about my life, my job taking care of children and my career projects

- I’ve just watched your performance a couple of times- Eric recognized

- Oh yes, my performance!  We wanted to make something very danceable.  A professional pop song but with also some middle East elements.  I’m from Iran, you know

- Oh really?!

- Yes, I’m the Prince of Persia.

Eric pretended to be shocked with that information

- Oh God! I didn’t know that I was in front of a prince, your majesty- He said before throwing me a pillow he had next to his sit that hit me on my chest

- And you are the prince of pop

We both laughed.  

- I have the whole choreography on my laptop, do you want to watch it?

- I have a better idea.  Tomorrow I’ll be rehearsing for my next tour.  I want to see you dancing live.  Do you have time to be there?

- WHAT? Yes

Eric Saade laughed and we shook hands.

- Sorry, I have to go.  I have things to do- he said and when he mentioned this he seems to be worried for the first time.

I didn’t know what was happening in Eric’s life but I wished deep in my heart that one of the things he had to do won’t be “Danny”.

That Obstacle.   

Welcome to my new life

From Eric Saade’s point of view

I wake up at 3 am.

Once again, I had the same nightmare that pursued  me since the last couple of days.  

The only problem is that, this nightmare will never leave me because it was real.  I was living a new life.  Molly has left me and my heart was broken into pieces I couldn’t imagine I could be recovered.  That was the awful truth.

I went to the restroom and I washed my face.  I had to sleep.  I had a busy schedule.  I had to go to Melodifestivalen and I had some interviews.  Also, I knew I had a meeting with a kid from Norway named Tooji who will represent his country in the Eurovision Song Contest.

When I went back to sleep, I tried to remember what I have dreamt.

It was once again about the day Molly told me it was over.  The worst part of it was that I don’t even know why does it happen?

Why me?

What did I do wrong?

Well, I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend these last weeks but it was just because of my work, not that I really want to hurt her.  

I do it for us!

But she has gone...

Why she didn’t told me something was wrong?

Why we couldn’t get a way to fix this problem?

Why our love had to end like this?

Suddenly I felt I was again in my apartment, some days ago

- Eric, I had to go!- Molly said when I hold her hand trying to make her stop

But I didn’t want that she leave the room.  I don’t wanted to face the truth

- Eric, you are hurting me!- Molly cried.

She sink her fingernails on me and I had to released her.

Molly was just in front of the door.  If I let her go, I knew I won’t see her for a while and my life will be destroyed.  I went down on my knees crying rivers, literary.

- But Molly, why do you do this to me?

My voice broke as I felt destroyed as I never felt before in all my life.

Molly Sandén, my ex girlfriend put her hands on her face and she also started to cry.

- Eric, why do you have to make things more difficult than how they are now?

I couldn’t breathe.  However I made an effort to reply

- Don’t tell me that you are making me good just leaving me alone.  Cause I can’t live without you.

- Eric Saade don’t be such a drama queen! I know you can live without me.  You will survive.  I will do it too.  But I can’t be an obstacle to you.

- Come on Eric, you have big plans and I can’t be a part of your dreams anymore.  You want to conquer the world and be a pop prince when I am just here.  We don’t have time to share as a couple.

- Do you want to go on vacations with me?  We can go far away for a month if you want!

- We have gone on vacation just a few weeks.  Don’t you understand Eric? I am not asking you to leave your career for me... It’s me the one that have to do this sacrifice and leave you

- And what about me? I don’t want to leave you.

- I know, cause you are a good boy... but sometimes, when you love someone you have to let him go.  It’s for your own good Eric... and don’t try to stop me!

Then she went straight to the door and she left me. I wanted to make her stop but I couldn’t.  I felt weak.  As I never felt before.  I lied on the floor just watching how my life was destroyed.

I didn’t sleep well that night.

But life had to continue

The phone rang

- Hi

- Eric? Is that you?

It was Danny Saucedo.  My best friend, my lover, my man.

- Are you drinking again?- He asked me after a short pause

- Yes, I admit.  It was just a glass of vodka.

- Isn’t too early to start drinking?

I felt the urge to start crying but I didn’t do it.  Instead I sighed.

- You are right.  I’m a total idiot.

- Eric, are you ok? I’m going to your apartment right now boy.

- No! I mean, it’s 4 in the morning and you have things to do.

- I’m worried about you.

I sighed again.

Why on earth he was so right about me?

- I’ll be alright Danny.  I swear.

- We have to talk Eric,  This is serious.

Normally I was the good boy who took care of Danny.  But now, after Molly left me...

- Don’t do anything stupid.

- I know- I said and then I added.

- I love you Danny

- I love you too my manboy

A tear fell on my check and I went directly to the sofa hoping that this time, I would not have more dreams.

Finally the sun came up again.

I felt like a soldier after a devastating war.  I survived the nightmares once again.  I felt destroyed but I was still alive and ready for anything that was waiting for me.

As I went back to my rehearsing sessions I remember myself not to respond any question about my new relationship situation to be neutral.

This was going to be a hard job.

If they ask me something, I would just say that I haven’t already take on the bad news.  I just didn’t have enough time to face all the consequences and digest all the consequences of this situation.

Oh God, I felt death every time I said that even if was partly truth.  I was not going to talk with the press about how I was dying day after day since I have broken up with Molly!  It was not their business.

I arrived to the Globen Arena.  I had to prepared a big choreography to perform at the closing ceremony of Melodifestivalen 2012 so I didn’t have time to lose.

- Oh Eric!

Someone just call me and without telling something more, the man take my hand and bring me to his dressing room and close the door before he kissed me.

His lips are sweet and soft as sugar and were all I needed to feel relaxed, and calmed, at least for a moment where I’d be in peace and my mind could forget for a moment that I was in hell.

He put his hands on my head and started looking at me more closely.

- You don’t sleep well.  You are not ok.

- I do.  I am ok Danny.  Thanks to you.

I smiled at him but it didn’t work out.

- I know I can be the crappy boyfriend sometimes and that you are better at doing this but you can’t fool me Eric.  You are not ok since you break up with Molly.

- I’m sorry- Danny Saucedo quickly add when he saw that he was causing me pain just  because he mentioned my ex girlfriend's name

- I am going to be ok, Danny.  I swear- I told him but I could not look directly into his eyes.  - Just promise me that you are going to do your best and win Melodifestivalen

- Are you kidding me?  I am going to win this!

- If you win I am going to give you the award and I am going to kiss you in front of the public.  I am not afraid anymore.  I want to tell that I love you to the whole world.

Danny feel nervous after listening my love statement.

- And I’m sure you’re going to be number one at eurovision

- No way! You are better than me

We kissed again.

- What are you doing here?

We both laughed

- I am rehearsing. Duh!  Remember I am going to be at the final.  Besides, I will also have an interview with Tooji

- WHAT? - Danny shouted

- You know, the guy that is representing Norway this year

- I know- Danny replied in a rude tone.

- I don’t like him- He said and he could not hide that he was feeling uncomfortable after I mentioned Tooji

Wait a minute... was he being jealous?

I had to make a big effort not to laugh.  Because if I laugh I knew Danny would be really angry with me and would never forgive me.  But why could he imagine...?

It sounded like a big joke to me.       

I pretended to make it look like a joke but the expression on Danny’s face was cold so I prefer to ignore what he said.  I promised a thousand times that I would not do anything stupid and a thousand kisses later I said goodbye to my lover and I was ready for another day.

***

- Oh, Eric, you are here!

The boy from Norway was walking directly to me.  I must admit that I didn’t recognize him immediately.  I was really tired after more than an hour, working on my performance.

I liked his tan.  His skin and his face.  He is really a hot boy from the Middle East.

That was the first thing that came to my mind.

But his smile... my Gaydar told me that he might be gay or at least bi but he was definitely not straight.

- Hi Tooji, Are you having a nice week in Sweden?

- Oh please! I’m loving it... and I am going to announce the points from my country at the final.

- That’s great!  Molly... my ex girlfriend and Danny my bo... best friend are in the final

For a second I find that Tooji had exactly the same expression I saw on Danny’s face but then he quickly smile again

- Yes I know!  But I am supporting Loreen

- Oh yes, she is great.  Did you know that last year she...?

We went to my room.  Everything was a mess but Tooji didn’t care at all.  I turn on my Mac and stared at him

- Ok, show me what you’ve prepared

Tooji laughed nervously.  I noticed he was feeling a little bit shy.

- I am not a professional dancer as you are so I created the whole choreography and...

I put a hand on his shoulder  

- I am sure it’s great, just calm down and shoot.

Then I knew that it was the worst idea to do that.  I felt butterflies on my stomach, a feeling that I have only experience with an only boy.  Until now.

However it was not exactly the same.  Something inside of me told me that it was wrong.  So good but so wrong at the same time.

The problem was that, the more I looked at Tooji things were getting a little bit worst... I felt excited, completely excited just with that little touch.

There was something between my legs that it was getting bigger while Tooji was making that, almost erotic dance in front of me

I hear the music as I walk down the street

Start moving to the rhythm, heart is pumping the beat

I hear the people shout out; Turn up the music louder

Better start running if you can't stand the heat

The heat, the heat... the place was getting suddenly hotter.

My penis was fully erected.  

Eric: don’t look directly to him.  Don’t be so evident.  Look at the floor- My consciousness said.

But then I noticed the way he seductively move his hips.  It makes him look like a girl for sure but at the same time it was so damn sexy that...

Was he trying to seduce me to take advantage of me? Cause he was doing really good.

Come on Eric Saade, put your feet on the ground.  Think about

Molly!

That was actually the key.  I just need to think about her to feel the pain.

In less than a blink of an eye the music fades out

- I know I suck at this- Tooji cried with frustration.

- What? Oh no!

- But I just saw the expression on your face

- No, no, no you are great it’s just that...

-What’s wrong?

I couldn’t look on his face anymore.  My face was looking at the ground.

- Nothing... Well I can’t tell you

- Eric, even if I don’t understand what is happening to you, I hope things will be fixed and that you can smile again- the boy told me and without waiting for my response I was covered in his arms.  

I would never imagine that he could hug so hard but so sweet at the same time

- Thanks Danny

That was probably the worst thing I could told him but I didn’t mean it.

It was not really my fault.  It was my brain who played me these tricks.

Suddenly Tooji got away from me

- You must be tired

- I guess you’re right.  

But then I added before leaving the door.

- I am sorry you have to see me this way Tooji.  I am just a disaster.  Everything in me is a disaster these days and I can’t do things right.

- Do you mind if I take a walk with you before you leave to your house? I will invite you a drink.

- I guess- I said even if I wasn’t sure about it.

I closed my eyes and I just walked.  Over the next few minutes I didn’t think.  I let the boy that looked so protective and wiser than me lead me whenever he wanted and when I could see clear I find out that I was in a Café.